Dating man going through divorce and our relationship is crazy!! Help?

Is there any truth to happy endings? The man I was dating for approx 4-5 months is currently seperated and heading down the path to a divorce. Well needless to say, he turned into something I could not quite recognize. One day he wanted to hold me and never let go, the next day he would not want to really talk to me, the day after he would drive across the city to just give me a hug and a kind word because I had a bad day and then two days after this he calls it quits with us - tells me he wants me to be his friend and No Touching - no hugging, holding hands, etc. I took a step back and thought" Who are you?" ..where is the man I was dating?? So then - we are just friends - and it was suppose to be only once a month we contact each other and then it is once a week - only by phone for 10 minutes....It keeps changing...

So I have a few questions -but should first let you know that I have never been married and I have no children so I have nothing in my life to equate to the end of a marriage and the guilt of it all(not seeing children everyday, etc) (his wife ended it not him and No he does not want her back)....

My questions: why is he acting this way? like a yo/yo - up and down , up and down?? Can someone who has been through this shed some light on it for me. How long does this craziness on average last? Why does he dote on his daughter so much (she is 8)..he wants to spend every waking second with her and I find this quite unsual behaviour? Can anyone shed some light on that as well?

Why did he think that being with me was preventing him from healing and moving on (as in building his new life)? I never stopped him from doing anything.

For the record..I do NOT want him back as is...it was awful and it was like my heart was in my stomach dating him. He would say that he did not want a relationship but then would stay in it. Very, very strange ..Anyhow ...I know he is a great guy (honest, compassionate, loyal, ethical, etc)when he is healthy..he is just way too messed up to be good for anyone right now. So my BIG question is: Once these guys get better is there any chance that they come calling again. Has it worked out for anyone out there? and NO I was not the transitional woman..there was one before me who he dated for awhile. I am leaning to not being his friend right now -as I am not sure I could be - it would be too difficult on me. So when I told him this..he said" That was not one of his options" (as in never seeing me again)...I said" I know it is not, But it is my option"..I do like the guy - want nothing to do with him right now - but would sure like to date him once he is healthy -he would indeed be a good catch. Thanks everyone. Look forward to your replies. I hope someday there is a happy ending to this one.

Dating man going through divorce and our relationship is crazy!! Help?live com

I'm living a similar scenario.

My wife and I have been seperated for the past couple of years. She took up with some other guy. I decided to get myself together, acknowledge the mistakes I made, and as best I can, forgive her and honor the vow we took before God.

To me that means that I have to accept her for who she is, focus on the friendship we had when we first met, and honor her. It hasn't been easy but it is slowly getting better. There are less butterflies in my stomach when I'm around her. I don't have to lash out. Of course I feel hurt, rejected, sometimes jealous but I caused a lot of pain too. This takes work.

I decided not to get involved with anyone else until this marriage is resolved.

Today, I approached her about getting a dissolution and I guess her boyfriend felt threatened. This is a guy I had to tell a couple of month's ago that we're not friends - you can't sleep with a man's wife and expect to be friends, or in his case, pretend to be.

Eventhough me and my wife have been apart, the fact of the matter is that legally, spiritually, and emotionally we're still married. That truth is the big elephant in the middle of the room.

One thing about people who step outside their marriage regardless how bad it is, is that they are very unstable - temporarily insane from time to time. That's my opinion and I believe many would agree.

For you, I don't think it's worth the payback in misery. You deserve a high-quality relationship. If this guy is recently seperated, he's probably very emotionally insecure and still very much attached to his wife (whether it's anger, hatred, fear, or love).

Earf

Dating man going through divorce and our relationship is crazy!! Help?myspace.com music myspace.com

Too complicated and you should probably move on, unless you want never ending drama. I have an ex and he drives me and my new husband crazy.
Thats what happens when you date a married man. What do you expect?? of course he will pay attention to his child. Guess what? you arent number one
I hope he takes a long time to contact you so in the meantime you have time to heal and forget about him. He has so much baggage, you deserve better.
He doesn't know WHAT he wants. And you keep getting bounced like an emotional ping-pong ball.

The easiest way out of this is just to break ALL contact. Be honest and let him know that it just isn't going to work and he needs to go his own way %26amp; you yours.
Wow, that was a long post! Ending a marriage is the second most stressful life event there is. Unless you have experienced it, you cant begin to understand. But please take my advice: don't date a separated man. Wait until the divorce is final. And I'd still wait another six months. Anyone going through divorce is totally mentally and emotionally screwed up. Add a long term marriage and a child to boot, and this poor gentleman is NOT ready for a relationship. Dont fool yourself into thinking he is, or that if you just ride it out things will change. Even when he gets better, he will be embarressed over how you saw him at his lowest, his weakest, and his craziest....being with you for long will be a painful reminder of something he is embarresed about. Do yourself a favor: walk away.
A divorce isn't an easy thing for everyone. Maybe he doesn't mean to treat you badly, but has a lot going on. I would recommend you leave him alone. If his divorce goes through and he really likes you- you'll hear from him, but dont waste your life on a "maybe" situation when you could have a sure thing somewhere else.
my question is why people want to jump from one relationship to another.????

no matter how a relation ship ends i feel people should take the time to recover from that relationship before moving into another. often if they don't they end up experiencing the same kind of things in the next relationship often causing it to end too. why should you put up with his yo-yo behavior. are you willing to put up with this after he is diorced? why not send him on his way %26amp; tell him come back when you are ready to enter a relationship without divorce proceedings hanging over your relationship - don't you think you deserve a chance for love %26amp; respect in a new relationship?
Why does he want to spend every moment with his daughter. That is odd.