Is dating the only way to meet a potential partner? For many dating is not a means to an end, but &q

As a vibrant youngish forty-something single, who is currently healing a broken heart, miraculously I still find myself dancing with this question. But I want out of the dating game, the merry-go-round, which lately I am finding childish. It just seems to me right now about people just trying to get what they can get. I always thought dating and romance would lead me to a love partner, but no go. Lots of dates, followed by more lonely nights and holidays. One guy told me my expectations are too high, i.e. when I indicated that I wanted more than the standard internet dating half-hour coffee date and that I wanted to have the date confirmed earlier in the day or pref. the day before, so that I could keep my other options open or make other plans. Right now I just feel "whipsawed and confused." What is the pt. of dating if not to find that certain someone, or at least a reliable friend? If this is not what dating is for, then how else can I find my soul twin, a true love partner?

Is dating the only way to meet a potential partner? For many dating is not a means to an end, but "the end."unblock myspace

The crazy thing about romance and dating at forty something, is men your age or way older treat you as if they are doing you a favor somehow. Don't settle for that. Also be able to recognize it in the first conversations with men and call them out on it, regardless of their age.

What is even more ridiculous is that although your expectations are high and rightfully so, the men think they could throw some lame line at you in order for you to lower them. Don't you dare!

I will be 24 on Saturday and most of my friends both male and female are in their 40's. The males sniff up under me when they think I do not know the game. My older females friends taught me how to decipher the worthless ones from the worthwhile ones.

You appear to have your act together but the men you are dating apparently do not. Step outside the fantastical criteria your Mom set, dreamed and lived by, then date outside the box.

Since you said you look youngish, that implies you do not look forty-ish and attract older guys who think they can run a game on a young girl and younger guys who think they captured a cougar or sugar momma. You have the upper hand in controlling that outcome, but then you get caught up in Fantasy La La land and expect him to make YOU happy.

NOOOOO, Wake up, girlfriend and recognize your worth.

Do not put your expectations on guys who are not even true to themselves much less you. That same type you keep attracting is the same one that will romance you, try to convince you to be Friend w/benefits only to say you are not what he is looking for and break your heart in pieces.

Do not wear your expectations on your sleeve. Write your list of expectations and list of will not tolerates then be brave enough to call the knucklehead, childish wanna be out on his inadequacies and shortfalls.

NEXT....make it fun, not a chore. K? The One is out there!

Is dating the only way to meet a potential partner? For many dating is not a means to an end, but "the end."backgrounds for myspace myspace.comYou sounded like you needed and were due one! Good luck :) Report It


Well, dating *is* for those things you're looking for. But dating is also for whatever each individual has in mind. So you're going to meet people who just want to have sex, people who are not right for you, people who want to get married right away, people who just want to have kids, etc.

Unfortunately, I think you're right--to find the right person, you do have to go through and deal with a lot of nonsense nowadays. I don't know that that can be avoided. I do agree with your friend that it sounds like you have high expectations, and I would add you're probably picky, impatient and a bit too idealistic/romantic. These things are not altogether bad...but they will make it harder to find someone. You've just got to go on dates. As much as I wish it were so, you don't really just bump into the right person randomly, recognize they are the one and proceed on this wonderful adventure together like TV and movies show. It takes more effort than some of us are comfortable giving, which, honestly, is one reason I don't even bother trying to find someone.

I'm wondering what ages are the people you're dating. I would think that the older one is, the more people out there their age who are also interested in a real relationship and not just having "fun" and tons of dates. I think the best way to find someone who has the same desires as you in terms of the kind of relationship they're seeking...really will be the internet...because you can look at their profile and see what they say about what they're looking for. Easy to eliminate people who aren't looking for what you are looking for right off the bat. If a half-hour coffee date really is too unbearable for you, I'd seriously put that in my profile...I bet there are others who feel the same way. I know I hate boring getting-to-know-you chit chat and standard conversations.
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